Like all of us I woke up for the second time this week at 3:00am thinking about certain things. It is pretty useless to try to go back to sleep because I know I wont so I always grab the good ole laptop. In this case this morning I am going to write some of those feelings out. I was thinking that I am going to call these feelings "stuff " a part of me wants to write so much more about this "stuff" on the blog but I am not quite there yet. I was always made to feel a certain way growing up like by keeping quiet was exercising self control. On the other hand I feel differently I feel that you should express your feelings. That is my personal war that I am in, but my side is finally winning now! OK getting on with my point I think it was really funny because somehow I came across exactly what I needed to hear and it helped me with my answer to my personal war. I was pulling up a blog entry done by someone that I don't even know and it was also about her concern of expressing her feelings at ALL times too. (with respect of course) She wrote how her husband had identified it as a sign to her problem when a certain song on the radio came on in the car. Her husband was with her and helped her to understand that it is ok To say what you need to say. Life is to short to leave things unsaid or unwritten. It is very important to express your feelings because that is who you are, and for exercising self control can only lead you to emotional destruction. It truly can I have experienced that.
The latest with me; I was asked to take on a new responsibility at work. We have a new process starting with NYK that I will be the rep over, I will handle all the paperwork and be the contact person with all the NYK managers. It is still in the beginning process, and someone from our building has to visit the six NYK states to train them this process. It will get time consuming at times so another girl in my office is going to help me with my old job so I wont be overwhelmed.
For the past week I have felt such a good feeling that everything is going to be OK I was a little concerned about this new responsibility at work , but I have felt so calm. I get the feeling that another job opportunity is around the corner and to leave Icon would be pure joy. I am proud of myself for a lot of things in my life, I had my yearly checkup this week and the Dr stated I was healthy and for me to keep up the good work. Even though I feel sometimes from others because of my weight that I am not. Well from time to time out of the clear BLUE sky I probably will express myself and even though it may not interest everyone I will be the one to gain from this I am sure.
